Pregnancy & Privacy – To Bare All Or Keep Mum?

The pregnancy journey is thrilling, especially for first time mothers. You want to scream it from the roof tops while simultaneously wanting to not tell anyone out of  sheer worry. In our social media age a tendency to share every facet of lives exists for many. Whether it’s a status on Facebook, a photo on Instagram or a witty one liner on twitter it’s so easy to share your excitement without fully acknowledging exactly who can see it. I admit it myself that sometimes I snap a photograph with social media in mind and not solely to capture a memory.

Pregnancy & Privacy

Let’s be honest, many of use have ‘friends’ on social media we wouldn’t exactly consider to be close. Platforms like twitter and Instagram can invite literally anyone to view your content. This is why for the most part I haven’t documented too many milestones of my pregnancy on the blog. I find it rather eerie to think about who might be reading about such a personal experience of mine.

That said, I read blogs daily where people go into graphic detail about the inner workings of their womb. Some announce their pregnancy on the day they discover it. Others declare the gender of their baby to the public. I have even seen some publish teaser posts inviting readers to guess baby’s name! This is definitely a different pregnancy world to the one I knew growing up. Or at least the one I thought I knew. I personally am more private about my pregnancy. It is overwhelmingly exciting but I would rather contain that excitement within the bounds of my family and friends.

My crux with baring all throughout pregnancy however is not what I read online. I take no issue with what women choose to post and fully admit to thoroughly enjoying many of these posts! My problem lies with the people I meet in the street…

Whether it is due to being surrounded by such open accounts of pregnancy or just a  general sense of entitlement I have been taken aback by some of the questions I am asked on a regular basis. As soon as the bump ‘popped’ and my pregnancy became apparent, I noticed that some people took it as a green light to ask pretty personal questions. Or at least questions I feel are inappropriate and wouldn’t dream of asking others.

My Top Three Irritating Pregnancy Questions!

What are you having?

This one is the only one that makes me genuinely mad and want to respond with a passive aggressive, “a baby”. I do not believe that because some people happily announce their baby’s gender that it is free game in every other pregnancy. What makes people think they have a right to such a deeply intimate fact?

Another question comes with this one and it is, “Do you know but aren’t saying?” or “Do you reeeeeeally not know?”.

STOP IT. If you have been given a firm, “we haven’t found out” then please accept it and move on.

What names are you thinking of?

Note, this isn’t the question – “have you considered any names?”. This question seeks to know what those names are. BEFORE YOUR BABY ARRIVES. The baby is going to come out of me faster and more easily than that information. Keep walking.

When are you due?…because you’re tiny *stares at bump*

Admittedly, this is not an offensive question at all. However it is when paired with a disapproving glance at your belly and a comment about your size. Please stop skinny shaming me. I am 6ft tall and there’s plenty of torso for baby to hide in. FYI my baby is slightly above normal fetal growth rate! Relax.

See also my recent post on Dealing With Negative Nancy During Pregnancy

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8 Comments

  1. Such true and valid points! I never get the tiny comment but rather the opposite: Oh wow you are due in May, you look ready to pop! I try my best not to scowl lol.

  2. I’ve had three children. I did not know if they were boys or girls the first two times…sometimes people just don’t know! My first child, I named after his father but that caused a scandal with my inlaws who didn’t think that was appropriate (because Dad already had two sons from another marriage).

    I am not as tall as you. My second baby was enormous, and so was I. A question I got all the time was “Are you sure you’re not having twins!?”

    This isn’t a question but it was nonetheless irritating: when people would reach out and touch my bump. Please! Personal space, people!

    (My youngest child is 11 so all of this happened before most social media — thankfully!)

  3. I had my daughter before the www age, so this was a non-issue. But I definitely hear what you’re saying. My work has very vulnerable aspects, so I share a lot online; however, I give myself permission to be vulnerable, but not intimate. I use that as a gauge for what to share and what to keep.

    Great post!

  4. It is definitely interesting how many people think they are just entitled to know information! Most of the time, I find it’s just people trying to make small talk. Thanks for sharing! <3

  5. I’m currently (almost) 33weeks with our second and, just like the first, we’re not telling anyone what names we are even considering! I think it’s way too personal to share and I really don’t want to hear people’s opinions on the names that I am considering because their reaction could change the way I feel about it. This time around we’re also not finding out the gender (Really!) and I find it’s actually a huge relief to have that excuse for not letting people know what we’re having. I’m pretty passive, so it’s really hard for me to show when a question or comment irritates me or I think is inappropriate …

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