The Opposite Of Love Is Indifference

There was bound to be a heavy post at some point so here it is – the painful rejection of indifference. I was listening to The Lumineers the other day when a song I hadn’t heard in a while came on. Thanks shuffle! It was “Stubborn Love” and it wasn’t long before I remembered why I fell in love with this band for the first time.

“It’s better to feel pain, than nothing at all. The opposite of love’s indifference.”

The Opposite of Love is Indifference

It got me thinking about times of hardship and how the most painful response that you can get from someone is none at all.

Think about it, when someone ignores you, you get irritated. Now think about being in need. Genuinely requiring the assistance of a loved one and in response you receive stone-faced neutrality. There is no greater disappointment. There is no greater loneliness.

Although some of us won’t ever admit it, at some point in our lives we need support. Some of us more frequently than others but when you do, you do. I will admit it. I will admit it every day. I suffer from chronic self doubt and sometimes the power of someone standing behind you being your biggest fan is paramount.

I find myself in a situation wherein I feel like I am drowning in a sea of indifference. When you are breaking down in the presence of another, willing them to acknowledge your pain and hoping you will be met with support but the response is nothing – what do you do? Just what do you do when you are the only one present and fighting for everything before you? I haven’t found an answer, except to keep on fighting.

This leads me to a quote from Dante Alighieri – not exactly renowned for his cheery positivity but there are some pretty stellar words to be found in his writings,

“The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality”

Indifference between two is not neutrality. Neutrality is defined as supporting neither side during conflict. Conflict between two, by very definition, cannot have neutrality it is the battle between caring and not.

Indifference

Indifference is blatant disregard. It is callous and careless, disinterest. It is aloof and negative and it is the opposite of love.

And in the battle between love and nothing at all – why would any of us choose the latter?

Furthermore, I find myself wondering, what happens to a person somewhere in their life to harden to such a degree, to brush aside those closest to them, to reject love and choose pride, ego and solitude?

Answers, I fear I will never find…

The Oppposite Of Love Is Indifference

 

(F.Y.I if you want to learn more of Dante Alighieri’s writing, particularly ‘The Divine Comedy’ then I suggest reading Dan Browne’s ‘Inferno’ to lessen the load!)

 

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43 Comments

  1. I love how you pointed out the difference between love and indifference. And how in a conflict when someone won’t chose a side it’s really indifference. Which, in my opinion, is much worse than choosing a side.

  2. ‘stone-faced neutrality.’ I shivered when I read that. I also liked what you said at the end, about indifference taking on a different character when it occurs between two people. Much worse and yes, it morphs into something other than indifference.

  3. I agree. I would rather someone feel enough to hate me than just to not care if I existed. I thought that quote was interesting because I never thought of how neutrality would be judged so harshly but when you think about it, it really is!

  4. Amy I hope you are ok! This is beautiful but obviously depicts a deep pain. You have friends here if you need anything!

  5. I completely agree. My Dad said something to me, years ago and it really stuck with me. He said: “while you feel something – even if it’s negative, you don’t need to worry. It’s when you feel nothing at all, that you should be the most afraid.”

  6. This is a really powerful post. I couldn’t agree with you more. I feel the most frustrated in relationships when I am met with indifference when I am trying to express myself and what I need from them. It really is one of the worst feelings. Like you said I wish we could know why people react that way and what we could do to reach them. Thank you so much for sharing.

  7. Hi Amy,

    When a “beloved” person is indifferent for a situation that is happening in my life then I just cut them off. It will hurt but it’s better having genuine people in my life who care about me than fake ones. It just needs courage to make such a decision but I’m willing to do anything to have real connections. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us!

    Zaria

  8. I was subjugated to this for a long time, and it’s soul-eating. It wasn’t until I met my now husband that I realised it didn’t have to be this way. He is my no 1 fan and biggest supporter and I love him more and more each day for it.

  9. Indifference can be quite cruel because, as humans, we expect a response from others; even if the response is anger or rejection. Indifference shuts the door with no feedback. It’s manipulative and, while it has no place in a familiar, loving relationship, it can be used to convey a strong message in other situations.

  10. Amazing post, I’ve been trying to change my little bit of indifference, really amazing post. I really hate my indifference sometimes, but I’m young so going to work on it.

  11. Great idea to bring up the indifference thing. A lot of people think that not saying anything, ignoring is not as bad as saying sth that hurts. Not true. Indifference brings the feeling of humiliation, frustration, loneliness, insignificance.

  12. This is a great, eye-opening post as it epitomizes what a true blog should be. I like how you differentiate love from indifference. To me indifference is not caring at all, which is really the opposite of love.

  13. This is so true! People think that the opposite is hate but hate is just another passion. The saddest thing in the world is being ignored by the person you love. I, too, am curious about what turns people indifferent in life.

  14. Yes, this is a thought provoking post. Indifference is probably the most destructive quality a person can have. However , I would like to believe that these people who can callously remain indifferent in the face of moral and emotional issues are thin on the ground, as I would hope most people would have a definate opinion on issues such as these, wheather it be love or hate .

  15. I think some people believe ego will lead them to greatness, but what they want out of greatness is love from others. It never works in the long run.

  16. I tottaly agree with you. The indifference now at days is a huge problem. Many are indifferent with everything surrounding them. Beautiful!

  17. You never know what a person has gone through. Personally I prefer love but I almost regret it every time. I am at this point now that I don’t want to get hurt anymore, so I prefer loneliness.

  18. This post explains a lot of how I feel! Its nice to know that I am not the only one. I am a very emotional person who needs to feel that people care and when someone you thought loved you has noting to say it is the most lonely feeling in the world

  19. I agree that the opposite of love is the indifference – from my personal experience, I knew that my previous relationship was over not when we were fighting every day nor when we were upset with each other, but when I really stopped caring about all of the issues we had. When I became completely indifferent to the things that used to drive me nuts, that was it. It took a long time for me to realize this though.

  20. This was a beautiful post. I loved reading this. I struggle with this often, and it took me a long time to realize to stop fighting over stupidity.

  21. I totally agree the opposite of love is indifference. There have been a many situations that I am glad to be unmoved by a former friend or lovers actions. I believe that when you feel indifference is when you can truly say you’re over a situation/person.

  22. Now that I think about it and analyzing your words, it’s true, indifference is so cruel. It’s much better to know than to be left wondering, even tif the response is negative. You wrote a very moving post.

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